Deleting photographs of people I no longer know feels like closing the door on unpacked regrets As if getting rid of any proof I knew you would dial back the clock and return time Feeling my heart harden and sink at every glimpse of the past I'll hold on to our silly little photographs just a bit longer, in the hopes that the lead in my heart bleeds through and I no longer feel the need to destroy my memories of you
Posts
Just right
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We just did our best and maybe our best wasn't good enough There is no shame in that, we were just doing what we knew how to do. Maybe next time our best will be enough Maybe because our best is better than it was before We added to it Changed it Made it digestible Maybe we didn't change anything at all Maybe we are still stuck only doing the things we know how to do Maybe this time it's enough, not because we dressed it up and made it into something it's not No, maybe this time it didn't demand so much of us Maybe this time we didn't need to break ourselves down into bite sized pieces Maybe this time we were able to do our best and for each other our best was enough
Depression
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Before I knew it, it was 4am I haven’t felt a breath of air in years All my pain has blended into a lump sitting in the center of my chest I don't think anything has ever weighed more than this feeling I'm drowning again I'm always drowning Always thinking, each thought pulling me further into myself I don't know if i will get out, I don't know if i want to Sinking is all that I know, it's all that I have It's all that I am A sinkhole, piled to the brim that only burrows deeper Lost and then found, found and then lost There is no path here, just choices Right Wrong They hold no power over the outcome I sink regardless
War
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Her Mind is at war with itself Two sides of the same jagged edge Half yearns for peace while t he other craves destruction An enslaved soul forced to bind to the will of a corrupt society Having no desire to make the decisions Harboring the knowledge that this world Cannot thrive on the foundation man has built
Body
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This body has been beaten and bruised Cursed and ridiculed laughed at and critiqued underfed and overworked overfed and underappreciated This body has been told more than enough that it does not belong That it is not enough That it is too much This body has learned to feel threatened by the presence of others This body has been taught pain How do I begin to search for peace in a space that has never known it? How can I ask this body for the love it has never been shown?